Sabbath Perfectly Organized

I’ll bet you know women who make Shabbos in either of 2 ways. There are the women who have a set schedule and their routine is like clockwork. Sunday is challah and chicken day. Monday is baking day. Tuesday is grocery shopping day and kugel day. Wednesday is gefilte fish, and chicken soup day. Friday is egg salad, tuna salad, and cholent. Or, to make Shabbos in its entirety Thursday night.

The other woman does not really have a schedule. She cooks when she feels inspired, sometimes needing to buy premade foods when the inspiration hasn’t hit. Many times the cooking begins and ends on Friday.

Which way is right? Winging it? Or planning it? Whichever way brings you closer to completing the image of yourself or the image of who you want to be is the right path.

For the scheduled woman, your routine feels great; everyone is showered well before Shabbos, the meals are hot and fresh, you feel relaxed going into Shabbos. No wonder you stick to it!

You are the woman who you aspire to be.

On the other hand, some of you creative types might shudder at the schedule I mentioned above. It feels suffocating and boring to adhere to the same routine every week. You are proud to be laid back and spontaneous. And you love being that way.

It doesn’t always feel good to be laid back though. For instance, when you cannot find your keys and are late for appointments, or when you and your spouse keep arguing over the clutter. That kind of relaxed attitude hurts and doesn’t mesh with the positive image you have of yourself.

So for you, we’ve got to strike a balance. It wouldn’t help to compare yourself to the perfectly structured woman who makes Shabbos the same way every week because that feels stifling to you and self defeating.

How can you get Shabbos done week in and week out without feeling overwhelmed and stressed?

I am going to be as painless as possible. You do need to come up with a rough list of everything that needs to get done before Shabbos. I didn’t say “plan” or “schedule” I said list. You can make a list, right?

If this is too frustrating for you, have someone sit down with you while you rattle off chores and get it down on paper.

Then, once you have a list, next to each item, jot down the amount of time you need to complete this task. Do realize that most of us are underestimators of time. Studies show that many people perceive time differently. You know the feeling when reading a novel and all of a sudden 15 minutes has gone by when you said you’d just read for 5 minutes! Relearn to tell time. If you think it only takes 7 minutes to go a 10 mile distance, double your estimate.

Now, all you have left to do is to plug your list into your week. For example, if it takes you 45 minutes to prepare and cook your chicken, plan a time during the week that you will have 45 minutes to do this task.

Once you write the master list, then you can know what time chunks are available to you. Then you can fit in the tasks whenever you have the time. If the kids are out for 45 minutes, that might be a good time to put your chicken in.

In the Shir Shel Yom, we identify each day in relation to Shabbos, “Hayom Yom Rishon L’Shabbos”, etc. This designation helps us to constantly remember Shabbos. I like the idea of doing something every day of the week for Shabbos. Consistency is very helpful for distractable types of personalities. Look to your master list to help you decide what to do on which day.

Try this fun idea:

Get a few different color notecards. Designate a blue card for a 5 minute job, a pink card for a job that takes 15 minutes and a yellow card for a longer job. List jobs on the cards and put all the cards in a clear jar. When you get a “chance” (first figure out how long that chance really is!), pick out a card, knowing that if you only have 5 minutes, you’ll select a blue card. It’s fun, it’s somewhat flexible, and you are safe because the tasks are premeasured so you know that it will all get done in time.

If you reserve this jar only for making Shabbos, you know the jar should be empty by Friday.

Another idea which I recommend to everyone, is a time map. List the days of the week at the top and the hours of your day going down the page. Draw squares or chunks of time and label it. Grocery shop from 9-10 on Tuesday for example. 3-4 Exercise. Try it out. You can still feel somewhat flexible on this map and color code it to get your creative fix.

A friend of mine once mentioned to me that her kitchen is like her Bais Hamikdash (temple) and she is the Kohen Gadol (High Priest) . What a wonderful image to keep sight of when fulfilling your homemaking duties whether you are a perfectly structured individual or a more laid back person.

For either of you, with a little planning and consistency, I have no doubt you will be able to achieve your domestic dreams.